In this article, we provide links to all related information, from definitions to practical applications.
Introduction:
"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."
Reference:【Serenity Prayer - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer
I first encountered this prayer during a particularly challenging time in 2014. At that time, this region had experienced profound loss and severance, reminiscent of Persephone. However, the strength of that energy seemed to magnetically draw many individuals grappling with similar unresolved issues. I felt an evident emotional contagion related to accepting death permeating the entire area. These sentiments seemed difficult to sway through mere logical persuasion. This experience brought to mind Susano-o from Japanese mythology, prompting me to wonder if the journey towards higher existence might be akin to this process.
Reference:【Persephone - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone
Reference:【Susanoo-no-Mikoto - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susanoo-no-Mikoto
This prayer made me revisit the true essence of courage — a force that exists side-by-side with anxiety. It highlighted the power of acceptance and the relinquishing of control. Interestingly, these universal truths are not just confined to religious texts but can be found even in lyrics of children's animations. Such insights are ageless and universal, guiding our human journey.
Reference:【Panic disorder - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_disorder
What is Personal boundaries?:
We're talking about emotional boundaries here.
Reference:【Personal boundaries - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_boundaries
Related Articles:【Emotional Boundaries: A Definition】
Related Articles:【The Angles of Connection: Boundary, Relationship, Communication, Love (Soul)】
"What am I?"
For me, the question "What are boundaries?" feels almost identical to asking "What am I?". It's a question that has been with me for a long time, and it doesn't have a definitive answer.
Is this a desire, I wonder? It seems that I encounter this question even when I'm not actively seeking it. Is it an unmet need?
If there's no right answer, does that mean the question is meaningless? Even if I can't find a definitive answer, can I still perceive boundaries? Should this unanswerable question be dismissed for not being scientific? If I don't understand what I am, can I endure?
In truth, I don't fully understand the concept of boundaries. I feel their presence, but everything might just be a figment of my subjective imagination. I recall the world I saw while being carried on my mother's back - where was "I" in that moment?
Related Articles:【Self-Identity: An Angle from Boundaries】
Recently, I articulated the cycle of emotional analysis and value judgments in pseudocode. I felt as if I had touched upon its essence, to the point where I believed it resonated not only with communication and design but also with life itself. Upon reflection, the class name I used was "Situation", and within it, I found "me" and "you" on the same level. While I often consider myself as the main character, there are moments when I realize I inadvertently place myself within the "space" or "gap", observing from that vantage point.
Related Articles:【Moment Log: Emotional Analysis and Value Judgment Cycles】
As a child, apart from school hours, I spent most of my time with my visually impaired grandmother. These moments undoubtedly shaped my experiences and perspectives. She hailed from a region where there's a deep-rooted tradition of visiting graves during Obon and Higan. Growing up, I was surrounded by the traditions and rituals she upheld. I distinctly recall the temples of the Soto Zen school, a branch of Zen Buddhism, where the Heart Sutra is recited during funerals. While I haven't actively pursued the concept of "emptiness," the subtle ambiance of the local culture and my grandmother's influence might have left an imprint on me. Especially, her mental stance of not relying solely on visual information could have influenced our emotional connection within the ambiguous boundaries we shared.
Reference:【Heart Sutra - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_Sutra
Recognizing Boundaries:"Whose right is it?"
One of the most effective methods I've employed to understand my emotions, expectations, and relationships with others is by asking, "Whose right is it?" We often tend to impose our values and expectations on others. However, the emotions and actions of another person belong to them; they are their right and freedom. By questioning whether my desires and expectations truly align with others, and if they respect the other person's emotions and rights, I can assess how realistic and fair my demands are. This perspective has often allowed me to come to terms with situations, accepting them as "it can't be helped."
Learning from Limits: The Clarity Found in Facing One's Boundaries
In the past, when confronted with the pain of another, I've been driven by an intense urge to rescue them, even if it meant surpassing my own boundaries. However, despite my sincere efforts, there were moments that painfully reminded me of my own limitations. Through this experience, I reflected on the inner conflict I felt when unable to aid someone. Ironically, by immersing myself in this empathetic pain, I discovered a part of me that was lacking. It's reminiscent of interpreting the ending of the movie 'The Mist'. Sometimes, through despair, ambiguities and confusions can clear up.
Embracing Ambiguity: The Power of Blurred Boundarie
Relationships between individuals, especially those that are deep and intimate, often come with blurred boundaries. This inherent ambiguity seems to be a natural feature of human connections.
I've gone through phases where I tried to define these boundaries based on my self-image, and periods where this approach just didn't work. This pattern aligns with the developmental stages proposed by Maslow and Erikson. It's within these cycles that I, and another version of myself, started to clash, and just before this conflict came to a close, I became aware of the underlying needs and emotions.
The ambiguity of boundaries facilitates interactions and connections with others. Through these interactions, I realized I had often mispositioned these boundaries. By accepting this, I've come to a deeper understanding of the true needs and emotions that exist within human relationships.
Because of the ambiguity of boundaries, I experienced pain. Through this pain, the original me surfaced, and by integrating these experiences, I've evolved and upgraded to a new version of myself.
Related Articles:【Angle on Conflict: A Gateway to the Final Stages of Resolution and Personal Growth】
Recommended Reading: 境界線(バウンダリーズ)
