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Profound empathetic ability means maintaining the boundary between oneself and others, recognizing and accepting others' feelings and thoughts, and possessing self-awareness and insight that minimizes one's projections and cognitive distortions.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.
Reference:【Empathy - Wikipedia】 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy
I once thought I understood this.
However, upon deeper reflection, I realized there were many things I did not truly grasp.
To what extent should I understand the feelings of others?
Is it possible to feel emotions that I ourselves have never experienced?
Are sympathy, projective identification, and countertransference forms of "empathy"?
If they differ, how do they differ?
The Many Facets of Empathy: A Deep Dive into its Components
In my personal experience, within this concept of 'empathy', there exist various subphenomena and stages. In particular, 'emotional contagion' and 'countertransference' play vital roles as essential components of empathy. I believe that by understanding these subphenomena and stages, one can gain profound insights into what empathy truly is and how it is formed.
If we were to rephrase the idea of deep empathy, it would be a simultaneous process where one harbors an active desire to understand (an act of volition) while simultaneously experiencing emotional contagion (an unconscious mirroring of another's emotions).
Related Articles:【Emotional Contagion & Empathy: A Comparison】
In truth, I don't particularly fixate on the words themselves. Instead, I categorize interactions between myself and others based on whether they are active or passive, within the realm of consciousness or subconsciousness, in relation to others, the depth of emotions involved, whether they come with unfamiliar emotional experiences, or require effort towards understanding.
Emotional Contagion:
Proactivity: Passive. Perceived automatically.
Consciousness: Unconsciously transmitted.
Relation to Others: Doesn't require deep or direct bonds.
Depth: Not just a superficial emotional response, but the contagion reaches deep layers within.
Related Articles:【About Emotional Contagion: Discussion & Guide: 】
Countertransference:
Proactivity: Semi-active. Perceived automatically.
Consciousness: Mainly reacts unconsciously.
Relation to Others: Current relationships influenced by past experiences.
Depth: Based on internal reactions and past experiences.
Cognitive Empathy:
Proactivity: Active. Consciously understands others' perspectives and thoughts.
Consciousness: Centered around conscious understanding.
Relation to Others: Relates through the process of understanding others' thoughts and feelings.
Depth: Focuses on understanding at an intellectual level.
Emotional Empathy:
Proactivity: Semi-active. Perceived automatically.
Consciousness: Can be both conscious and unconscious.
Relation to Others: Deeply connects with others' emotions.
Depth: Profound emotional experience.
Sympathy:
Proactivity: Active. Consciously understands others' perspectives and thoughts.
Consciousness: Primarily conscious.
Relation to Others: Relates to others' challenging circumstances.
Depth: Reaction considering others' hardships.
Emotional Regulation:
Proactivity: Active. Consciously understands others' perspectives and thoughts.
Consciousness: The process of regulation is conscious, but the initial emotion can be unconscious.
Relation to Others: Seeks harmony within relationships.
Depth: Values emotional balance and stability in relationships.
The Misrepresentation of Empathy
When I refer to "distorted empathy", I mean empathy that is intertwined with psychological defense mechanisms such as projection, cognitive distortions, and repression.
In the past, possibly influenced by the environment in which I grew up, I prioritized achieving harmony and agreement with others over deeply understanding my own emotions and the inner movements of my heart. This might have led to a situation where only superficial empathy was emphasized, sidelining the imperative of profound self-reflection and self-awareness. Moreover, when striving to understand, I predominantly engaged with my intellect, much like someone who spends most of their sports practice reading about it. I was oblivious to the intricacies of genuinely feeling the heart and the paramount importance of sensing emotions physically within oneself.
Treating "empathy" superficially or merely formally invites self-preservation, selfish motives, psychological defenses, and other things I feel I cannot fully express. Such imbalanced empathy can potentially be a root cause for long-term performance decline within organizations. For instance, an excessive emphasis on internal harmony due to overblown respect might jeopardize harmony with external organizations. Furthermore, there's a risk of flawed decision-making stemming from projecting onto others or employing intricate psychological tactics. There might be other detrimental effects worth considering.
Feedback from others is valuable, but when based on skewed empathy or cognition, its interpretation can be challenging. The definition of "normal" in homogeneous cultures or those with specific beliefs can be distorted. Recognizing this has helped me avoid misunderstandings and confusion.
Empathy: A New Understanding
My current empathetic ability differs from the past. My self-awareness and insight have deepened, reducing the influence of projections and cognitive distortions.
A long time ago, I learned from a researcher of Watsuji philosophy that the term 'human being' can also be interpreted as 'between people'. To this day, there are times when I feel emotions that don't seem to be my own, but I've gained new insights in the following aspects.
- Boundary: I introspect while being conscious of ambiguous boundaries.
- Acceptance: I refrain from making immediate judgments about whether something is "good" or "bad." I also delicately assess the source of these emotions, allowing for ambiguity in whose feelings they might be.
- Recognition: Through meditation and dreams, I come to recognize the unknown.
Empathy is about understanding and resonating with others' feelings and states. It's crucial to understand the boundary between oneself and others and to realize when what I feel belongs to someone else.
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My Empathy Process:
Empathy differs for everyone. My process may not align with others, but understanding it can enhance communication and relationships. Explore my empathetic journey here.
